Are We There Yet? A Sarcastic, Exhaustive Recap of What You Voted For

(Spoiler: You F*ed Around and Found Out when you voted MAGA)

Welcome, MAGA Supporters! Pull up a chair, grab your favorite MAGA hat, and let’s take a long, hard look at the America you voted for.

Press Play Below… And Listen While You Read.

Oh, you’re in for a treat. Go ahead, press play. Let this cringy mal-accent Diddy serenade you as you read, because apparently, someone thought this auditory disaster was a good idea.

Who needs originality when you can have a poorly executed accent and a beat that sounds like it was made on a 2005 Casio keyboard?

As you read, and savor on what you voted for, let the loop of mediocrity wash over you. Notice how the accent sounds like it’s trying to impersonate three different people at once.

Marvel at the fact that someone, somewhere, thought this was worth sharing with the world–oh, TRUMP did on TRUTH SOCIAL. And as the loop repeats—because of course it does—ask yourself:

“Why am I still listening to this?”

So go ahead, press play. Let this masterpiece of awkwardness accompany your reading experience. And remember: somewhere out there, someone thought this was a good idea. Let that sink in.

You’ve been chanting, “We voted for this!” every time something corrupt, chaotic, cruel, or downright STUPID happens. So, let’s celebrate the masterpiece you’ve created. Spoiler alert: It’s not the America you thought you were getting. Surprise!

1. Nasty Deportations: Kicking the Ladder You Climbed

You voted for brutal, heartless deportations with zero empathy or dignity. Funny, considering your grandparents (or maybe even parents) came here undocumented and climbed the ladder of opportunity.

But hey, who needs consistency when you’ve got hypocrisy? Let’s kick that ladder down so no one else can climb it. Bravo!

And let’s not forget the cruelty of separating families at the border, putting kids in cages, and treating human beings like cattle.

But sure, keep waving that “Pro-Life” flag while you cheer for policies that destroy lives.

2. Love Thy Neighbor (Unless They’re Gay or Interracial)

You voted against same-sex marriage and interracial relationships, all while preaching “love” and “family values.” The mental gymnastics here are Olympic-level. But sure, let’s keep pretending your vote wasn’t rooted in bigotry.

Love is love, right? Except when it’s not.

And let’s not forget the Supreme Court justices you voted for, who are now chipping away at LGBTQ+ rights and interracial marriage protections. But hey, as long as it’s not your marriage, who cares, right?

3. Government Waste (But Only for the Poor)

You cried about government waste and voted to cut programs you rely on. Medicaid? Medicare? Prescription drug assistance? Gone.

But don’t worry, the pharmaceutical companies and Medicaid fraudsters are still thriving.

Who needs healthcare when you’ve got bootstraps, right?

And let’s talk about the $250 bill featuring Trump’s face.

Most Americans can’t afford to use it, especially since the majority of MAGA voters are in the poorest red states with less than $500 in savings. But sure, let’s prioritize vanity currency over, you know, fixing the economy.

4. Veterans and Federal Employees? Who Cares!

You voted against care and jobs for veterans. You voted for federal employees to lose their jobs and face homelessness. But hey, as long as it’s not you losing your job, who cares, right? Supporting the troops is just a slogan, after all.

And let’s not forget the VA cuts and the gutting of programs designed to help veterans transition back into civilian life. But sure, keep waving those flags and pretending you care about the people who served this country.

5. Blue States Fund Your Red States

You voted to defund blue states, the very states that keep the U.S. economy afloat.

Did you know California and New York could buy Texas and Florida 52 times over? But sure, keep biting the hand that feeds you. Genius move.

And let’s not forget that only two red states (Texas and Florida) actually contribute to the economy, while the rest of the red states are welfare queens living off blue state tax dollars. But sure, keep voting against your own interests.

6. Draining the Swamp (Oops, Wrong Swamp)

You voted to “drain the swamp,” but instead of going after the rich and powerful, they’re draining jobs from innocent people. Meanwhile, Elon Musk is out here buying Twitter and doing whatever he wants. But hey, at least the swamp is… deeper?

And let’s not forget the tax cuts for billionaires and corporations, while the middle class gets crumbs. But sure, keep believing that trickle-down economics works, even though it’s been failing for decades.

7. DEI is for Everyone (Including You)

You voted against DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), thinking it only helped Black people and minorities.

Surprise! DEI includes disabled people, women, and yes, even white women (who hold 92% of DEI jobs). But sure, keep fighting against your own interests.

And let’s not forget the military official who lost their job because of DEI, replaced by someone who needed a waiver to qualify. But hey, at least it’s not a Black person, right? Oh wait…

8. Gutting Education for Vouchers That Don’t Work

You voted to “reform” the Department of Education, but now they’re gutting it and offering vouchers for private schools. Too bad private schools raised their tuition, making those vouchers worthless. But hey, at least your kids can… pray in school?

And let’s not forget the attacks on public education, the underfunding of schools, and the push for charter schools that don’t have to follow the same rules. But sure, keep voting for the party that’s dumbing down America.

9. Selling Citizenship to the Highest Bidder

You voted against immigration, but now Trump is selling gold citizenship cards to the highest bidders (hello, Russian oligarchs!). So much for “America First.” But hey, as long as it’s not brown people coming in, right?

And let’s not forget the hypocrisy of crying about illegal immigration while selling citizenship to the rich. But sure, keep pretending this is about “law and order.”

10. Farmers Losing Farms to Millionaires

Farmers are losing their farms, and guess who’s buying them? Millionaires and billionaires from other countries. But sure, keep voting for the party that’s selling America to the highest bidder.

And let’s not forget the trade wars that devastated farmers, the cuts to agricultural subsidies, and the rising cost of equipment and supplies. But hey, at least you’ve got that MAGA hat, right?

11. The Poor Get Nothing, the Rich Get Everything

You voted for tax cuts for the rich, while the poor get nothing. The $250 bill? The poor won’t see a dime of that money.

It’s going to the ultra-wealthy, the top 0.5%. But sure, keep believing that one day you’ll be rich too.

And let’s not forget the cuts to social programs, the attacks on unions, and the rising cost of living. But hey, at least the billionaires are doing great, right?

12. The Environment? Who Cares!

You voted against environmental regulations, and now we’re seeing the consequences. Wildfires, hurricanes, floods, and droughts are becoming more frequent and severe. But sure, keep pretending climate change is a hoax.

And let’s not forget the animals screaming out in the depths of the ocean, the pollution in the air, and the destruction of natural habitats. But hey, as long as the corporations are making money, who cares, right?

13. The Military? Not Safe Either

The highest-ranking military official lost their job because of DEI, replaced by someone who needed a waiver to qualify. But hey, at least it’s not a Black person, right? Oh wait…

And let’s not forget the cuts to military benefits, the privatization of the VA, and the endless wars that only benefit defense contractors. But sure, keep waving those flags and pretending you care about the troops.

14. The Economy? It’s a Mess

You voted for tax cuts for the rich, deregulation, and trickle-down economics. And now the economy is a mess.

Wages are stagnant, the cost of living is rising, and the middle class is disappearing. But sure, keep believing that one day you’ll be rich too.

And let’s not forget the rising national debt, the cuts to social programs, and the attacks on unions. But hey, at least the billionaires are doing great, right?

15, What Happened to “Save Gaza”? Oh, Right—Resorts.

Let’s talk about Gaza, shall we?

While children are dying, hospitals are collapsing, and families are digging through rubble for scraps of food, this dude—yes, the same one who couldn’t even build a wall—decides now is the perfect time to post a dumb ass AI-generated resort video on Truth Social.

Resorts. In Gaza. Because nothing says “I care” like fantasizing about luxury vacations in a war zone where people are literally fighting to survive.

What happened to “Save Gaza”? What happened to humanity? Oh, right—it got bulldozed by vanity, greed, and a complete lack of empathy. While the world watches in horror, this dude is out here pitching beachfront properties like it’s Shark Tank.

Priorities, am I right?

Gaza doesn’t need resorts. It needs peace. It needs aid. It needs leaders who don’t treat human suffering as a marketing opportunity. But hey, at least the AI got the ocean view right.

Too bad the children of Gaza can’t eat pixels

Conclusion: You F*ed Around and Found Out**

Congratulations, America! You voted for this. You chose racism over facts, cruelty over compassion, and chaos over stability.

And now, as the Titanic sinks, you’re still sipping the Kool-Aid, praying for a change that will never come.

But hey, at least you’ve got that $250 bill with Trump’s face on it. Priorities, right?

Final Thought:
It’s time to wake up, get off your ass, and protest. Because 92% of the country is tired of this nonsense.

But hey, keep voting against your own interests. We’ll be here, sarcastically recapping the mess you created.

Signed,
The People Who Saw This Coming

P.S. Enjoy your Kool-Aid.

Disclaimer: This blog is 100% sarcastic and 100% accurate. If you’re offended, maybe it’s time to rethink your choices.

 

sources# Independent tiktok user